Why Don't People Believe That Women Enjoy Casual Sex?
By Ribbit RobAlso Published at AskMen
Why is it so hard for people to believe that women enjoy casual sex? Why do we cling so tightly to the notion that women, and only women, hate casual sex and, indeed, are damaged by it?
Did you know that the abstinence-only education curriculum, while stressing abstinence for all, puts a particular emphasis on the purity of women? Additionally, the idea that women don't really like sex is emphasized. While abstinence-only education is on the extreme end of the spectrum, it is part of this same conversation.
When the "women hate casual sex" idea is emphasized, women then feel like they shouldn't enjoy casual sex and so they don't engage in it (in theory) or feel bad if they do. Now, the women feel bad (because they've been told they should feel bad) and the very people who told them that they should feel bad get to point to that and say, "See, casual sex makes you feel bad - it's bad for women!"
It's a plot. A ploy. A trap. The whole thing is yet another elaborate ruse cooked up to make women feel bad for being sexual in the hope that they will feel bad enough to not to have sex. What we have here is nothing more than a good old-fashioned attempt to control women's sexuality through fear and shame. Luckily, research tells us it's not working.
I'll leave you with this last piece of research-based support for ladies getting their swerve on. In 2010, Jocelyn Wentland conducted an online survey of 1,500 women that ended up debunking not only the myth that women don't enjoy casual sex. According to her survey, they enjoy a variety of it. Also, it addressed the misbelief that women who engage in such behavior have low self-esteem and other emotional issues. Accord to Wentland “It’s often the women who are very confident, sure of themselves, and have high social skills, who are capable of engaging in sexual activity outside of a relationship and be perfectly OK with this because they are able to separate the sex from the emotions.”
References
Vrangalova Ph.D., Z. (2014). Why Men and Women Hook Up Today. [online] Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/strictly-casual/201406/why-men-and-women-hook-today
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